FTM- I’m concerned about postpartum depression and anxiety. I can’t tell what’s normal, what’s sleep deprivation, and what requires meds. My daughter is three weeks old.

I count down the hours until my husband is home from work. He works a very stressful, demanding job and is gone 12+ hours a day. I have limited help as all of my friends have jobs or babies of their own. My mother has full blown dementia and my mother in law is dead. So needless to say I’m alone all day everyday.

Her cries go up my spine. I wonder what I got myself into. I get frustrated and then I cry with her. I’m worried I’m screwing her up already and she hates me. I’m worried I’m not bonding with her like I should be. I have to remind myself that I will get through this stage. But some days it feels like I won’t.

I do have a history of anxiety and depression. Does anyone have an history with this? What helped?