I hope this is ok to share here. This is my reality everyday.

I am the mother of a diabetic child.

I don’t know what it’s like to go to sleep at night

and know for certain my child will wake up in the morning.

I don’t know what it’s like to sleep the whole night through without waking up to do blood tests on my sleeping child.

I don’t know what it’s like to prepare a meal

without a calculator, measuring cups, and a gram scale.

I don’t know what it’s like to drop my child off at school and know he will always be in the charge of someone who knows how to take care of him.

I do know what it’s like to force feed sugar in the middle of the night knowing I am sacrificing my child’s teeth to save his life.

I do know what it’s like to draw up insulin at 2 am

and pray to God I’m not too sleepy to make a fatal error in judgment, technique or calculation.

I do know what it’s like to sit underneath the dining room table holding my sobbing child, explaining to him, “No, we can’t take a break just this one time.”

while I inject insulin into his already bruised arm.

I do know what it’s like to walk away from the pharmacy counter with an armload of supplies

and realize I’ve just gone through another box of 200 syringes.

I do know what it’s like to help my child march bravely past the juice and cookies at the school reception that was supposed to be his reward for achieving Student of the Month.

I do know what it’s like to look into my child’s eyes and tell him he has an incurable disease and explain to him what that means, and then to be comforted by him when I’m the one who can’t stop sobbing.

I do know what it’s like to love and cherish my child every minute of every day, toknow that I may someday donate a kidney to him, and that if he were in need of a heart, mine would be out of the question, because it broke a long time ago.

I am the mother of a diabetic child.