Im a stay at home mom/housewife. I know, the fucking dream to everyine else apparently. I don't understand, everyone around me functions normally and has a picture perfect family. No matter how hard i try, I cant figure it out.

I have an almost 3 year old that's no where close to sleep trained. Every night is a battle of yelling and screaming and kicking. I've tried everything, ive tried every fucking method, the CIO method, ceiling projectors, night lights, sound machines. I'm at my wit's end. He doenst have a door (locked himself in the room and we had to break it down) so he just runs out anytime we leave and Yanks down baby gates so we can't use those. If we stay in the room he gets up, tries to play and makes a game out of it. If we put him bsck in bed,he hits. I'm ready to tear my hair out. We were laying with him every night and thrn hed wake up all the time and come sleep in our bed. (We have a small bed and were married, bed time is our only time together). What else can i do?

My son is also, completely undeciplined. We agreed we wouldnt spank and havent yet but honestly it's getting so bad. If he doesn't get his own way he kicks and screams and spits. Doesnt listen to anything. Hits the animals, breaks things, I honestly don't know what to do anymore. He genuinely hurts us. A few months ago I stopped him from playing in the bathroom at his grandmother's and he head-butted me so hard he split my lip open and I now have a scar because of it. We've tried time outs, redirecting, taking things away, making him pick things back up and apologising and he still does this stuff on the daily.

My dogs are horrible. We're honestly trying to get rid of one and no one wants him. He's disgusting. He takes diapers out of the trash and drags em through out the house, we specifically bought a lidded trash and he'll go as far as knocking it over to get to it. He climbs on top of clothes to piss and shit but refuses to go outside. He tore up our entire couch, tons of my sons toys, furniture, clothes, takes food from my baby. We have to kennel him anytime we leave so be doesn't tear stuff up, so it means him staying In a kennel for 6-8 hours sometimes. We've tried a swat on the butt, kennel training, putting him outside when he's bad, squirt bottle, a shock collar, positive reinforcement with treats. I'm so tired of this he's making me hate having dogs at all. I literally hate him so badly and I've never thought that way about a dog.

My house is a constant pig stye. I can't keep it clean. Every fucking day from the time I'm awake to the time I go to sleep, I'm cooking and cleaning. I'm cleaning up after my son and my dogs on top of regular house work. Yet, every fucking day its trashed all over again. I can't keep up on laundry because my dogs yank it out of bins and piss on it. They'll dump the trash or tear up bags, they're bring old cans and diapers and anything else all over the fucking house in a matter of minutes. Meanwhile my son breaks things or dumps his food on the floor, pours juice on things, climbs on furniture, constantly do anything he's not suppose to do. I see everyone have Clean homes and behaved children and good pets I am just at a loss. I'm constantly working on our house and life and nothing is fucking working.

Please, anyone with any input. I'm so desperate right now. Anyone go through anything like this??