I need input, Ladies... What do you do when you've been in a relationship for going on 3 years, he's the love of your life, pretty much every other aspect of your relationship is AMAZING (and he's amazing)... But you're very sexually incompatible? Like, in almost every sense.

This my situation. Our physical relationship as it has to do with anything in the sexual realm (so not including just regular daily affection that's not done with sexual undertones or intent) is, in my opinion, crap. As in, almost being almost-nonexistent. At least on his end. It's waxed and waned, and I always hope it will improve, but ultimately I'm left feeling sexually frustrated about 96% of the time. I won't get into all the details, but I will say it's not about things like him being sexually selfish or such, but more about our differences in libido and the way we go about our sexual relationship as a whole. There are a LOT of aspects and nuances to the issue, & we've discussed it, but no matter how delicately we talk about it it only seems to make it worse and more unnatural.

I'm not sure if it's age-related (I'm 26, he's almost 37), hormone-related (he put on @50lbs since we got together, not to mention is starting to get the aging aches), has to do with him making himself feel pressure to the point of killing his libido (even if I try not to say anything or act any way, he knows it's an issue for me & feels like he's failing me, but idk that this was the issue at first obviously), a combination of these factors, or something else entirely.

I'm sorry this post is long, but I need help and advice! We have good sex when we finally do have it; we're very attracted to and deeply in love with each other; he loves my body & getting freaky with me, lol; truly we are always very open and want to spend forever together - but there's just something that makes it so that he has a nearly absent sex drive the majority of the time. I've tried talking with him about it. I've tried not bringing sex stuff up at all & being very chill to reduce any feelings of pressure. I've tried many many times to spark a sexual encounter (even just bjs) spontaneously, just to get shut down. I've tried a lot. I'm not sure what else, if anything, I can do to save this sinking sex ship. What do you think, ladies? Or if there are any men who read this - whether your lady shows this to you for input or otherwise - what are your thoughts? I'm at a loss.

Thanks for your thoughts, everybody. 🤞

(like that gif but reverse, haha)