I haven’t been in a steady relationship since I was fifteen. I’m now almost 21. It was six months of abuse, verbal, physical and mental. I vowed I’d never get myself into that ever again and worked hard to overcome the trauma this caused and I’ve worked hard to learn how to form good relationships with people.

I’ve been steadily hooking up with a guy I’ve known for years. It feels so odd to be asking for relationship advice at my age, but I’ve never actually had a healthy sexual relationship with a man.

So we’ve been hooking up on weekends for a month and a half, he works nights, I work days, so we have nice, romantic weekends together. It feels so strange, to message him and not be ignored. He’s a total sweetheart, a little wild, but in a good way. I know his family, our families know each other well, he’s around enough to keep me interested but not enough for me to get sick of him.

I would honestly be interested in taking it further than just fucking on weekends. Im just completely awful, terrible, at communicating.

I had planned a weekend out for Valentine’s Day. Again, with the awful communication, I tentatively asked if he wanted to do anything for Valentine’s Day and got side stepped. I understand. He got out of a bad relationship awhile ago, he’s scared as I am. I also know that I got my hopes up with big plans that I didn’t communicate to him, I just asked “hey would it be weird if we did something for Valentine’s Day?”

I didn’t explain that I wanted to book a suite in a nice hotel, with the Valentine’s Day package, and have a relaxing, romantic night with him. I still feel like I got rejected, even though I KNOW that I shouldn’t be upset over something I didn’t even mention.

We spent this weekend together, had a great time, and I think I finally want to communicate what I want. I’m just not sure how. I also don’t want to ruin it. I’m scared that if I do mention it, or say something he won’t want to talk to me again. I’m completely okay staying a casual fling too, but I don’t know if he’ll realize this.

Realistically I know that if he’s prickish enough to ignore me over my feelings, he’s obviously not good enough to date, but I don’t want to ruin what I have now. It’s been a lonely, lonely six years, and I haven’t come out of my shell in so long.

So - any tips or communication skills? It sounds so ridiculous, but it’s a really sensitive thing to me. Thank you all so much.