Do you believe in praise?

Question

I was reading the potty training book I'm going to use and the author mentioned what to do if you don't believe in praise. I am probably an over praiser. I get so excited and want to recognize all the awesome things my son does. I understand though parents wanting to really instill intrinsic motivation versus extrinsic.

Answer

How do you not praise a child especially if the do something kind or selfless? I always praise my children and they definitely got a lot of praise for successful potty trips.

Answer

Who doesn’t believe in praise? lol. Even my dog responds to praise.

Answer

I’ve worked with newborns to third graders. Praise is huge!

Answer

All I did was praise my daughter, I didn’t give her any little rewards, just hi-fives and you did it’s, good jobs and I’m sooo proud of you. It worked out, she’s never had an accident.

Answer

I think praise is good. I think it needs to fit the accomplishment and not overwhelm the child.

Answer

I do not. I hadn’t even thought about it until listening to a podcast about it shortly before my baby was born - it was based on Punished by Rewards (by Alfie Kohn). I’ve since read a few books, and believe it is better not to praise kids, especially for things that aren’t really praiseworthy. I’m still looking into it though.
I’m not surprised to be in the minority, but I am surprised at how few people disagree with praise.

Answer

I think I know what book you’re reading! We definitely praise (but without rewards). I teach violin and I feel like praise is super important in learning. If you praise enough specific things, you can then slip in a criticism without making it hurtful. I rarely praise my daughter for using the potty now (one week in), but I do use it in our daily highs often. I also thank her every time she uses the potty even if I’m just thanking her for sitting on it.
We’ve had very little push back and lots of successes. Night time is challenging for us, but daytime is great!

Answer

Always, always praise children! And your other family members, friends, and even strangers 😊 Praise gets the job done and sets kids up for success. I'm not sure how someone gets intrinsic motivation without first having external motivation.

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The only thing I will say is be careful about overdoing the praise...I only say this because when our daughter did her first poo on the potty, we lost our shit with excitement (so to speak 😜) and actually scared her a bit coz we were a bit over the top clapping and cheering, so she was scared to sit on the potty for a few days after that. We toned it down after that and all was good...stickers are a great idea!

Answer

I think it’s cultural. I had a few Russian friends and praise was hard to come by in their homes.

Do you believe in praise?

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