I woke up at 5:30am to police officers banging on the door, when I opened the door I saw our neighbor who’s my best friends dad and he looked at me with worried eyes asking if you were home. I told him yes and I was confused because you hadn’t done anything, I asked what was wrong. I mean what could you have done to have the police banging on our door. They told me you told dad you were going to hurt yourself, feeling panicked I didn’t know how to respond.

I ran to your door and tried to open it but you had locked it, remembering I had my cards in a drawer I ran into my room which was right next to yours and grabbed one. I ran back and shoved it into the crack of your door frantically trying to open it with the police behind me and when I did I saw your room glowing lightly and it was empty but I saw a light in your bathroom. I knew what you could’ve done in the bathroom. I knocked on the door calling out your name hoping desperately you would answer me.. you didn’t.

Turning to the officers I said you weren’t answering me, I didn’t want to use the card and see you dead.. I didn’t know what to expect so they told me to go in the other room. I ran into my room breaking down, 20 minutes later dad arrived, the ambulance arrived, and they had all left besides dad. He told me you were drunk and assumed he was cheating on you. He left shortly after you being a faithful husband.

I chose to go into your room and into the bathroom.. it’s a sight I won’t forget. I won’t forget seeing your blood on the bathtub. I don’t understand mom.. I don’t. I cant see you until Friday now and I’m scared to.. I’m so sorry mom. I really am.

update—

She’s alive, I saw her today (Thursday) for her birthday and it was kinda awkward.