If going to parties/bars and/or my husbands excessive drinking and inability to know his limit has proved strain on our marriage, is it wrong that I don’t allow him out anymore unless we go as a couple?

In every other aspect of life, he is perfection. He is responsible when it comes to money, he has a stable job, was in the military, and is a great dad to our son.

But time and time again, his drinking has effected our marriage in negative ways. Whether he doesn’t come home when he says he will, or if he says he’s only going to have a beer or two and he ends up getting completely inebriated. I’m at my wits end.

He gets invited to go out with the guys he works with (he is a police officer) and I say no unless we go as a couple. He gets mad that I don’t allow him to go out and have guy time. In a way- I do feel guilty that I don’t allow it. I wish he could go out and have a nice time with his friends. Especially after a stressful day - it would be nice for him to unwind and I understand that that’s what he wants to do. I’m not turning a blind eye to his reasoning. But my problem lies with him walking through the door at 2 AM while our son is sleeping. It’s also that I simply cannot trust him to know his limit. Usually when he arrives home he’s puking in the bathroom.

This is why I put a stop to it. Does he respect me enough to listen and not go anyways, yes. But he’s so angry that he just complains to his friends that he feels like he’s a prisoner in his own home.

He says I’m being ridiculous and he wouldn’t be like that anymore and I need to just give him a chance to prove it. But in the past - I have heard this plenty of times, and he always lets me down.

I guess I don’t let him go because I’m sick of the repetitive outcome. It never changes. And I’m not ready to be upset about him letting me down once again so I avoid it by not letting him go.

Am I being controlling? Am I wrong? Is there a different way I can shield our marriage from his drinking mistakes? (He has never cheated, that’s not what I mean.) I just mean broken promises, irresponsibility etc.

I really just need to know if I’m overreacting or if my actions are justified.

*edit to add - he still sees his friends. They go to lunch, play golf, they come over to the house etc. it’s just bar/party setting that I have this issue.