Forgetting Rape - - is this normal?

Question

It took me about 5 years to remember/admit I was raped. I was 20 years old. I was drugged and left in a parking lot. I have 2 “flashbacks” of the night (if that’s what you would call them)...I don’t even remember how I got home. I obviously had some issues afterwards so I finally started seeing a therapist. After a year in therapy, I spoke to my therapist about it. She was shocked it took so long. Has anyone else had anything similar? 
Side note: I was also sexually assaulted when I was 22 years old. I woke up at a friends house (at 10:00 AM completely sober) to someone I didn’t know fingering me. Did this assault trump my rape? Is that why I forgot? Ughh just trying to piece the puzzle together.

Answer

It’s completely normal to forget and remember years later or have something or anything trigger it . First, let’s consider the prefrontal cortex. This part of our brain is responsible for “executive functions,” including focusing attention where we choose, rational thought processes and inhibiting impulses. You are using your prefrontal cortex right now to read this and absorb what is written, rather than getting distracted by other thoughts in your head or things going on around you. But in states of high stress, fear or terror like combat and sexual assault, the prefrontal cortex is impaired – sometimes even effectively shut down – by a surge of stress chemicals. Most of us have probably had the experience of being suddenly confronted by an emergency, one that demands some kind of clear thinking, and finding that precisely when we need our brain to work at its best, it seems to become bogged down and unresponsive. When the executive center of the our brain goes offline, we are less able to willfully control what we pay attention to, less able to make sense of what we are experiencing, and therefore less able to recall our experience in an orderly way. Inevitably, at some point during a traumatic experience, fear kicks in. When it does, it is no longer the prefrontal cortex running the show, but the brain’s fear circuitry – especially the amygdala. Once the fear circuitry takes over, it – not the prefrontal cortex – controls where attention goes. It could be the sound of incoming mortars or the cold facial expression of a predatory rapist or the grip of his hand on one’s neck. Or, the fear circuitry can direct attention away from the horrible sensations of sexual assault by focusing attention on otherwise meaningless details. Either way, what gets attention tends to be fragmentary sensations, not the many different elements of the unfolding assault. And what gets attention is what is most likely to get encoded into memory. The brain’s fear circuitry also alters the functioning of a third key brain area, the hippocampus. The hippocampus encodes experiences into short-term memory and can store them as long-term memories. Fear impairs the ability of the hippocampus to encode and store “contextual information,” like the layout of the room where the rape happened. Fear also impairs its ability to encode time sequencing information, like whether the perpetrator ripped off a shirt before or after saying “you want this.”
Our understanding of the altered functioning of the brain in traumatic situations is founded on decades of research, and as that research continues, it is giving us a more nuanced view of the human brain “on trauma.” Recent studies suggest that the hippocampus goes into a super-encoding state briefly after the fear kicks in. Victims may remember in exquisite detail what was happening just before and after they realized they were being attacked, including context and the sequence of events. However, they are likely to have very fragmented and incomplete memories for much of what happens after that.
These advances in our understanding of the impact of trauma on the brain have enormous implications for the criminal justice system. It is not reasonable to expect a trauma survivor – whether a rape victim, a police officer or a soldier – to recall traumatic events the way they would recall their wedding day. They will remember some aspects of the experience in exquisitely painful detail. Indeed, they may spend decades trying to forget them. They will remember other aspects not at all, or only in jumbled and confused fragments. Such is the nature of terrifying experiences, and it is a nature that we cannot ignore.
I’m sorry for whomever did this too you. I found out when I was fourteen my dad molested me when I was a baby and I remember dreaming about it and seeing it and I was shocked I even remembered because I was a baby I didn’t think my brain stored things that far back .  I was later gang raped by a group  of guys and it took me a year or two before I even told anybody what happened to me . 
I hope things get better for you :)

Answer

In 4th grade a boy tried to drag me into the bathroom with him to rape me, I ended up getting away with a fight. Shortly after I started to become frightened of men in public and being touched but for some reason I couldn’t place why until in high school when I saw him again and started dating it dawned on me I have no clue why I couldn’t really remember the details for the longest time and why that week where I told administrators what happened and he got in serious trouble seemed so foggy to me. My brain just blocked it out and even now as a sophomore the incident is still hazy it just leaves me with a nauseated feeling and fear. So yes I understand the forgetting feeling though what you went through is way worse and I am so sorry that happened to you.

Answer

Ok so I’m very young, but at 5 I was sexually attacked or whatever but I completely forgot about it. Things start back in 2017 and my brain just started to piece things together. So, if you haven’t already I would really talk to someone and never feel bad about it. Some people feel bad about it or like it’s there fault but please never do that. Things will get better, but I find it easier to overcome an issue once you’ve a faced it, it gives you more “closure”. I am so sorry that this happened but remember you are strong and you got this.

Answer

I was sexually abused from 3yrs up until I was 8 I think , I’m still piecing things together. It is a process , I’ve stated trauma therapy called EMDR and it’s very effective. Helping me come to terms , it’s a hard ass life man. But don’t worry you’re not alone.

Forgetting Rape - - is this normal?

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