It was full of disappointment. Pure disgust. His smile turned into a frown when I walked in the door. No, I’m not talking about my boyfriends I’m talking about my step dad. The same man who was supposed to love and take care of me because my own didn’t. The same man who willingly took me in to his own home and provided for me and my sister. The same man who left a welted hand print on my leg while my mom was at work one night when I was 8. The same man who made me put on my mom’s pink lace thong when I was 10. The same man who grabbed my boob while I was pretending to be asleep when I was 12. The same man who got away with it all so when I was 17 he would ask me questions about my sex life. “What size do you prefer?” “What position is your favorite?” “Who’s the biggest you’ve ever had?” And I just had to sit there in silence and listen to these nasty questions because if I answered them, he would think I was okay with it. And if I told anyone about it, DCFS might have stopped by for a few minutes just to brush it off.

Why does he hate me so much? And why do I care that he does? He’s done nothing but wrong to me and my sister. He’s done nothing but wrong for any of us. He’s a pathetic excuse for a man. He acts as if I don’t exist. The other 4 of my siblings get all of his love and affection. But me? He hasn’t spoken to me in a month. He didn’t speak to me on Christmas except to tell me I couldn’t sit on the couch. What is it about me that he hates so much? What did I ever do to him? I’ve done nothing but try to be his friend. I’ve done nothing but try to be a good daughter. But that’s just not good enough because you should’ve seen the look on his face when I came home. When I looked through the door, he was smiling and laughing with my mom and sister. When he saw my face through the sliding glass door, his expression dropped and he looked away. He stopped smiling and laughing and frowned and looked away from me like I was the spawn of Satan. He looked as if he could’ve spit on me for walking into the house. You should’ve seen his face.