I used to be into self harm. It was almost an addiction. I would cut myself ALL the time. It gave me a sense of control over my life while everything else seemed to be spiraling out of control. 3 months ago today I had my worst cutting experience. I’ve never been that worked up before. I was sitting by myself in my school parking lot after my friend’s wrestling match with blood dripping and no way to stop it. Ended up needing a friend to come bring me napkins. Absolutely humiliating. While things have honestly gotten worse since then I’m happy to say I have NOT cut myself since that night making today officially 3 months since I took a blade to my own body. The scars from that night are still there and I still struggle with wanting to cut again. I know I shouldn’t but it was such a relief sometimes because I feel like right now I have no outlet. I’ve finally found a reason to live but still struggling with suicidal thoughts. Baby steps. Right now I’m just happy I’ve made it this far without cutting and I’m trying to keep that going.