Do you guys get along with your mother in law?

My relationship with her has been a roller coaster. When my husband and I first started dating maybe like 3 months, she deleted me off her Facebook because they had a fight that didn’t have anything to do with me. I was shocked because I didn’t understand the point of her deleting me and her own son on FACEBOOK. I just feel like that’s odd and childish.

But I didn’t say anything other than to my husband. When they were good again, she told my husband to tell me to add her on fb and I was like “the fuck no!” She can add me- the first time she told me to add her which I did but for her wanting me to add her again is stupid. I don’t know why she couldn’t just send me a request.

I know me ranting about fb isn’t a huge deal, it’s just the start.

When my husband goes home to visit, we were in San Diego and he goes to Nebraska, she got mad at him because he told her he was going to his aunt’s house for Christmas dinner. His mom didn’t plan anything for Christmas night so he didn’t think anything of it. But she blew up cussing at him and saying that he only wanted her for the watch (which was his Xmas present from her) and leaving. His mom for some reason won’t speak to her own sister (aunt). She storms up to her room and sends passive aggressive messages to my husband who was downstairs. He goes up trying to solve and calm things down and his mom wants to start throwing hands. She kicks him out of the house. This is a big deal because I always felt like they had a close bond whenever they used to talk- kinda like friends.

Since that fight, he didn’t want to go back home to visit her. Our relationship started getting serious and I invited him to come to Georgia to see my family and they loved him! I don’t think his mom liked that because when they did seem to “mend” their relationship it would get ruined by him just saying my name. I never did anything to her or say anything. In fact I would say hi while they Skyped and the moment she would see me she would turn the phone away and not speak to me and give it to his sister.

Of course that hurt my feelings... I told my husband to not mention me or get me to talk to her because I didn’t want to start unnecessary fights between them.

Well their relationship continues off and on for two more years and we were still together and planning on marrying. We were dual military so we wanted to do a quick courthouse wedding. My family understood and was happy. His mom on the other hand..... called before we were going to say our vows and cussed at him and made him feel bad. (Sometimes I wonder if I was a bad person for her to not like me and sometimes I still do if they fight)

Well this past week I finally went to visit his family- we’ve been together for almost four years- granted going home is hard because we both live in different states among deployments, etc. I tried to give a clean slate. We were there for four days and his mom kept canceling our lunch and dinner dates. We had a dinner with his aunt, grandma and cousin on day number one! And they loved me which was nice!

His grandma lives with his mom so I sent gifts for the both of them. His mom did not accept my gift.... I cried for two days so pretty much half of our vacation there. In my heart I wished that maybe if she met me, she would see that I wasn’t a threat or I wasn’t a bad person but she never gave me a chance. Not in person nor when we first started dating. At this point, I don’t intend to see her again... I will be Respectfully if for some odd reason she speaks to me but other than that, that relationship was dead from the beginning.