I kissed that guy and I regret it...

I have a crush who at first likes me as well and we were always hitting g on each other until we kissed. Then Christmas break and after that he started to avoid me or acting really normal like nothing happened.

It hurt so bad, I was so depressed thinking he was over it and not interested anymore😢

The last few days I decided to get over it as well and to meet someone else.

A friend and I wanted to go to bars and clubs and before that I was dressing up, felt really sexy.

I was in the kitchen cooking and my crush joined me (student accommodation) and he acted like before when he was hitting on me.

It was so nice to talk with him like this.

Then I said I was going out, I even asked him if he wanted to come, he said no because of work. But he looked so insecure and sad when he learned I was going to clubs.

I suffered because of his behaviour so to be honest I felt a bit satisfied to see his sad face😅

So in that club, my friend and I met guys who have class with us every Friday. And one of them kissed me at the end. I kissed him back and we started to make out. I was drunk and this guy doesn't interest me at all but it was nice to feel i was attractive to him. I came back late in the night and now I feel so bad.

We're not a couple with my crush then I have the right to kiss someone else but I don't why I can't help regretting that kisses in that club.

Also I feel my crush knows which is ridiculous, there s no way to know that.

But if he knows it would be totally over since he would think I don't like him and he could even do worst.

But now I feel it's like a competition between us : who's gonna go out the most etc.

Help, idk what to think about that situation and what to do😔 i'd like to hit on my crush to make him understand I like him but if he's avoiding me and over it...

Also if he is, I was thinking about going out with that guy in my class...I know sounds really childish but I prefer that than being single and alone while he keeps going out with his fuck boys friends.😐