Is my baby spoiled?

Question

FTM and honestly just realizing I may have spoiled my almost 5 month old?
She has me wrapped around her little fingers, I'm constantly entertaining her and when I do need to put her down she knows all she needs to do is start crying and I'll drop whatever I'm doing to comfort her. (I'm starting to let her cry a lil longer so I can finish dishes instead of doing a half load)
I was working part time short shifts (2-4 hours at a time) but ended up stopping because she would scream bloody murder basically the whole time I was gone and I just couldn't stand the thought and sound of my baby crying like that.
When I take her to visit my parents (or anyone else) she cries when they hold her (I take her every couple weeks) or even when I'm holding her and she looks their way! Its almost embarrassing that I may have created this monster.
My SO other kids come over every weekend and she loves spending time with them in their room, and my MIL comes over every other weekend and she's fine with her most of the time. I've noticed she acts so much different outside the house than she does in (normally a smiley happy playful baby until she leaves the house then she acts like she doesn't know how to crack a smile).
I guess I'm just looking for advice or your experiences. Maybe I can turn this around before she turns into a brat toddler. This post isn't an opportunity for mom-bashing! What works for you may not work for someone else so no need to tell someone how to parent, but ok to say what helped in your circumstance.

Answer

Omg she is so cute! I’ve always felt that at that age she just needs lots of love and attention. That’s not spoiling her - it’s providing for her! After age 1 it will be easier to teach her patience and trust and sharing and those kinds of things. But until then just enjoy her!!

Answer

Babies cannot be spoiled. You're doing fine mama. It's a phase they grow out of

Answer

While it's true babies can't be "spoiled" as in they are meaningfully manipulative, they are very intelligent and you can accidentally train them by always giving the same response (like you mentioned, she knows she just needs to start crying to get you to pick her up). This isn't the babies fault, it's what we teach them when we constantly reinforce this behavior of crying to get Mom, even when they don't actually need Mom. IMHO it is kinder to the baby to not try to block every single cry. They are just expressing their emotions.
It's tricky because of course sometimes babies need something when they cry and sometimes they're just fussy. I think the trick is to learn how to differentiate between a hungry, in pain, or tired cry vs. a "I want attention" cry. If you know she is well-rested and fed and you set her down to play or set her with a relative and she starts crying, I think it would be kindest to her to not immediately respond. I'm not an expert by any means but I've watched a lot of people with very needy kids and it's because they consistently "block the cry" - as soon as baby cries they have to fix it, and so baby becomes super whiny because they learn that's how they get what they want. Again, it's not the babies fault at all.
So I'm not sure exactly how to help, except maybe just let her express herself and cry sometimes when you know she is fed, safe, etc. Everyday she will realize it's not as fun to cry and will start playing by herself. But she's still pretty young so I wouldn't worry too much about it, just try to gradually help her have time away from you and make sure you always explain to her what's going on, that you love her and will pick her up when you're done washing the dishes, or whatever. 
Just my opinion! Take it or leave it. 😊

Answer

She's still young and doesn't understand. She wants what makes her comfortable and right now, that's you momma! I know it's hard, my son went through his phase around that age. He only wanted me! I couldn't put him down, I had to lay him down every night, I was his comfort 24/7. So I started doing things around the house with him. I would either wear him, or have him near by in his bouncer and just talked to him or sang to him so he knew I was right there. I would have to sneak out of the house, or go when he's sleeping. But he eventually grew out of it and now it's just every now and then that he still depends on me like that. So no, he's not a bratty toddler. 
But I have heard most kids who have a stay at home parent do freak out when mom or dad leave. I guess I kinda got lucky because he doesn't really care when I leave and I'm a stay home mom. He might cry for a couple minutes but that's it. So I wish I had some better advice to give you. But it may just be something she has to grow into.

Answer

My daughter hated anyone that wasn't me for like the first 8 months. It really hurt my moms feelings! She would scream just looking at her like you said. But now, my daughter is 1.5 and obsessed with her gammy and papa. She still will say mama a lot with them, even if I'm just in another room, but a little distraction and she's fine. It'll get better! Spoil away. But one thing I looked into when I was experiencing this was that you shouldn't let MIL take baby from u and leave u. She will associate her with the idea that you will not be there, or grandma=No mama. So stay around for awhile when she takes her. It'll get better, here's a photo of my mom and daughter now! Bffs!

Answer

She is adorable, btw. My first son was exactly like this. Even down to not wanting anyone but me to hold him and he was scared of any man besides his dad until here recently. The neediness basically went on until he learned to crawl. After that, he became the most amazingly independent little boy. He's a little over two now and besides coming to give mena hug and a kiss practically every 30 minutes, he plays really well by himself. I don't really have any advice, just wanted to let you know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Answer

She’s so cute! Keep doing what you’re doing, you are a mom, and you’re doing the right thing! I did the same thing with my first born, second and I’m on my 3rd girl now and she’s 3 months. All children/ babies want their mom, its instinct. Once my first daughter got older like 2 she was so comfortable with other people.  She’s 5 1/2 now and very outgoing. My middle daughter was the same way but she’s 3 now and she still clings to me FOR EVERYTHING. Once in a blue moon she’ll want her dad but mostly it’s me still. I have a 3 month old also so we’ll see how this turns out lol. Every child is different, we’re all just doing our best and doing what we feel is right. Just keep doing what you’re doing mama! Don’t sweat it.

Answer

Continue whatever you’re doing, you’re not spoiling her your just being her mama and safe place to be (your lap lol) my eldest son is 2.4months and he’s still clingy. He just started to come around people and step away from me for a few minutes. It’s normal for babies till the age of 3 to be attached to their parents and cry and feel uncomfortable around strangers (even tho they aren’t, they are in the kiddos eyes). Never feel embarrassed about what babies do or act.

Answer

While other posters are saying you can’t spoil and baby and she’ll grow out of it - and that IS true - she’ll also be okay to cry for a few minutes while you finish the dishes. You’ll find a balance that works for you! She’s gorgeous.

Answer

I have no advice, my baby is 2 months and I'm like that with him. I just wanted to say

Is my baby spoiled?

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