I’m going to post this anonymously because this is something that is really hard to talk about. I don’t know if I comment if it’ll stay anonymous so I’m not sure if I’ll comment to replies...

Ok... here goes -sigh- it’ll probably be long kind of confusing so.. sorry in advance.

I’ve been with my boyfriend, my sons father for going on ten years now. I’m pretty sure he’s been emotional abusive. He’s never really physically abused me- he’s slapped me and pushed me but I’ve always hit or slapped him back . (Excuses excuses)

He’s always manipulated me into feeling guilty for making everything “my fault”

For an example my son is 3, he didn’t have a nap today so he was extra cranky at dinner so he was throwing his fork and just being a toddler I just started ignoring him because let’s face it after the 3rd time picking it up I was just done so he (boyfriend — let’s call him M) started fussing at my son ( we will call him D) and saying “since your momma won’t say anything I will” and told me it was my fault for not “fussing” at him. I told M “you get upset with me when I fuss at him, now you are mad because I won’t fuss at him. What do you want?! “ he said “ you aren’t fussing at him the right way”

I don’t understand what that even means.

He calls me a bitch... daily

He throws in my face that I don’t have a job daily

That i need money daily

This isn’t even 1/2 of the things he says and does to me everyday.

I’m so tired of being with him and being miserable but I feel like I can’t leave.

He’s threatened to take my son away from me, because I don’t have a job to support him.

He’s told me if I left he would take me to court and take him way and I’d never see him again.

M financially supports us, works, pays the bills pays everything and I take care of the house ( i have some health problems I’m working through so I can’t work right now but I do a lot of work for his business at home that he doesn’t EVER recognize)

I’ve talked to a therapist about things and told her straight and she just asked why I haven’t left and I explained bc I’m afraid he will take D from me and she laughed in my face.

I feel like I’m a kid, that’s afraid.

I did leave him before- for two hours.... I took what I could fit in my car ( HIS car - it’s in HIS name) and he told me I wouldn’t be allowed back in the house to get the rest of our things. ( before I left)

Then changed his tune when he realized I was serious and actually left and promised he could change and everything would be fine. Like a IDIOT I came back.

We don’t sleep in the same bed, we don’t sleep in the same room. We are intimate and go to our separate beds ( it makes me feel like a lady of the night minus the payment part)

When I left one condition was he had to sleep in the bed with me. He did 2 nights complained every night all night how he couldn’t sleep and wouldn’t shut up so I kicked him out of the bed and now he sleeps on the couch again.

I don’t know what I’m looking for by posting this. I’m just so.... lonely... I guess.

Anyway, thanks for reading my sob story.