Too scared to test! 😳

Victoria

Well I know a lot of people think I’m crazy, but I didn’t meet ‘the one’ until 4 years ago. After two years we started ttc, but nothing was happening. At first we thought it might have been my age (I’m now 48) but I’m extremely active, fit and healthy, plus he keeps me on my toes as he’s 14 years younger lol

We both decided to get ourselves fully checked out and much to our horror it was him that had the problem 😩... he had millions of the little buggers, but they apparently were all deformed and had no tails.... so basically couldn’t swim! His doctor told him he had no hope whatsoever of ever producing a child.

Well we had lots of second and third opinions, all of which were outraged at the doctors words... a change of lifestyle, less stress, lots of healthy eating and vitamins and things could change were what we were told.

Me on the other hand.... fit as a fiddle and still fully functioning.

So..... it’s now been a year since this diagnosis and still nothing, so we’ve decided what will he will be, as long as we have each other, maybe we might adopt etc etc, but for now just concentrating on work and living a good happy life.

I must admit I do still want our own little mini us so still trying everything , to the extent of doing a headstand after bd twice in one night, when we had a special weekend away lol he thought I was nuts, but lay next to me whilst we laughed about it.

Today I am 5 days late 😳😳😳 I don’t know whether to get excited or not.... I’m feeling so many emotions.... am I ? Or is it start of the dreaded menopause? Do I test? Do I wait a bit longer? Omg .... I’m never late like this... I haven’t said anything to him yet, as I dont want to get his hopes up.

But if I AM? I want to give him the best birthday present ever.... we fly to New York for his birthday in a couple of weeks (it’s on Saint Patrick’s day!)

So sorry for rambling.... just seen how much I’ve written ... but I just don’t know what to do, I’m so scared... all I’ve ever wanted was to find the love of my life and for us to bring another life into this world... I’ve done the first part... I’m just hoping it really isn’t too late and this is what I’m hoping for.

Did that headstand actually do the trick???

What do you think?

****UPDATE****

Ok so I took a test this morning (Friday 1st march) and it’s come back negative... 😩 I’m now 6 days late.

I still have no period, but have sore boobs, more peeing than usual and have put on 4lbs! Something is definitely going on as I really dont feel right.... I will test again in a few days and I’m really crossing everything, but I’m really wandering if this is the start of the dreaded M 😥....

if another negative, and still no period. then off to the doctors I go.....

****ANOTHER UPDATE****

Still no AF even though another negative test, so have a doctors appointment tomorrow for blood test.... I’m crossing everything..,,