I started my day so happy it was sickening. It was my 30th birthday and we are FINALLY pregnant with our rainbow!

Unfortunately I got the call that my HCG levels have dropped 100 points since my beta on Tuesday.

It took us 9 months to conceive this baby after we lost a baby at 12 weeks. That loss was a MMC and I had to have a D&C. I’m not sure yet what the outcome of this one will be, but I will know more tomorrow after they do more bloodwork. Apparently that will tell them if it’s ectopic and if intervention will be necessary or if they feel like nature is going to take its course.

I just feel so lost and broken. I don’t understand any of this or why we have to go through this. As if one time wasn’t bad enough, then 9 long months of unsuccessful trying, just for it to end like this? I feel so defeated by this entire process. I want answers and have no idea how to get them. I don’t know what to ask for or how to ask- I just want to know why this continues to happen for us.

I would really appreciate any support any of you ladies can give. I didn’t have this community when I went through my first loss and I am so grateful I have it now. It has been invaluable to me. ❤️💕