Im having a hard time getting over some things that happened during the birth concerning my husbands family. For ex, his dad without our knowledge or permission announced the sex of baby quite non chalantly in a group text including my parents and this is their first grand baby. The baby's sex was a surprise to us and everyone. Husband was not given permission to tell dad sex but he did and his dad thought it was the right thing to tell everyone bc everyone has been wondering for 9 months now. Husband thought the sex was a meaningless detail like "how they have striped baby hats here". His mom cut the baby shower cake, ripped the tags off all the shower gifts, lost the who gave what gift list, and did some other things my mom and friend who hosted shower both independently thought was weird/rude. She came uninvited to the hospital pre-birth when I was not feeling well due to meds they put me on and scared bc I'm having an emergency c section prematurely. There are more things she did as well. I'm really confused and shocked by their behavior. I was expecting to rely on my inlaws to help us care for baby as they live in town and my parents live away. I thought I liked my in laws but my feelings have changed.

And I'm also having a lot of stress and arguments w my husband because he doesn't understand why these things bother me, it took him days/weeks and a lot of fighting for him to admit what his mom did was inappropriate, he still doesn't admit what his dad did was inappropriate, I feel like we aren't on the same page, etc. For ex, w the baby sex, he didn't realize that the announcing of the sex was something I wanted to do in a special way (it was a surprise to us for 9 months and yes I didn't explicitly tell him I wanted to announce ourselves when we were ready but I thought that was obvious although when his dad said we should tell people the sex I told him to tell his dad we will deal w it tomorrow but ofc husband did not, he just told his dad the sex who then told everyone) I feel anxious about what his family might do next and also about what my husband doesn't know he doesn't know (like what else that is important to me is obvious that he doesnt know) and I feel like at any point, he or his family is going to hurt me or annoy me. And I don't feel like I have the emotional reserve to handle that and I also don't feel like I'll be able to have a productive convo w him or them to repair the hurt feelings. The baby is more than 1 month old and his dad hasn't met the baby once and his mom met the baby briefly twice. I'm just too anxious and angry to be near them or have baby near them.

I don't know what to do. I've tried to go to support groups for new parents but these types of issues can't be explored deeply. I have spoken to 2 therapists about this wo much help. I'm looking into finding another therapist as we speak. Husband and I have gone to two couples therapy sessions and are scheduled for another this wkend. This morning I told him to pack up his stuff and get out of the house. So now it's just me and a newborn.

I think I just needed to vent. I know these things aren't the worst things ever and I am appreciative and grateful to have a healthy baby but I just cant get over these things.