Sometimes I think it would all be better if it just went off road killed me and everyone went on with their life's. Even since the day I told him I was pregnant it seemed like we were the mistakes and the nuisance in his life its I'm stupid for doing something not being adult enough I guess he would of never married me if he knew I was so sexually active the I knew what I was getting into with being with him........ The feeling like shit about my self my body my image my thoughts my age my life existing everything because of some things he says to me I know he doesn't mean them that way but it hurts...... And honestly I think he'd be happier if I was gone not his daughter but if I just disappeared his life would be more simple it'd be better I can't express my emotions anymore because there so repetitive to him it annoys him I don't know how to talk to him anymore I was raped molested bullied beat by exs and some family never had the confidence to talk then I did now I think I'm better off shutting my mouth and giving up live through the days make sure I eat and drink enough to still breastfeed my daughter and when I go I go... I know no one's stayed this long and read this whole thing it was more to get it out... Rant I guess maybe help me sleep I'm so depressed I can't sleep pathetic my whole life's pathetic........