Cried for the first time this year

I was doing so well, ive been about 3 months almost depression free then boom. Here we go again. Really thought Id broken this cycle but no. Back to crying myself to sleep, continuing being lonely as a single and loan parent. As bad as it sounds ... counting down tne years until my son is old enough to be self sufficient. I long to find parenthood happy and normal like most people but right now I feel like packing it in.