My due date is Halloween. It means more to me than anyone can ever understand.

This past Halloween, I spent the entire night holding my 20 year old baby brother's hand not knowing that the next morning at 7 am, he would take his last breath.

I miscarried two weeks after he passed, and I believe that baby was to help me stay calm enough to make all of the arrangements for my brother while my parents and our other brother fell apart.

Because my due date is so significant, and this is a rainbow baby, I'm keeping it to myself as long as possible. Not even my husband knows yet.

I miss my brother every day. He will always be one of the sweetest and most amazing souls I'll ever get lucky enough to love.

I'm praying hard that this baby will stay with me this time. My brother's middle name is "Makana" meaning Gift in Hawaiian, and I am praying this is his gift from heaven. 💙

UPDATE: Thank you so much for all of the love and support. I finally told my husband last night and I've known since Feb 18th, so I guess it was time. He is just as happy and nervous as I am and lost it when I told him my due date.

If you go off my lmp, I'm due on Halloween. If you go off the day we conceived, which was February 8th, I'm due on November 1st, the day he passed away.

Either way, this feels too big to be just a coincidence. Please stick around little babe. 🌈