Since we brought my little girl home from the hospital I have a hard time taking care of myself. I clean frantically when she is asleep and im trying to breastfeed and snuggle when she is awake. I haven't had physically affection to or from her father. I just feel a huge disconnect to everything around me. My mom took time off to take care of me and my boyfriend just quit his job after they threatened to fire him the night our daughter was because he wasn't there he was with me for an emergency C-section. They have been home nonstop and bickering putting me in the middle. Just can't escape the stress and I feel like instead of helping me get better they are pushing me out of the way. I'm just a milk bag for the baby and they get to dictate what I do with my daughter. I spend all way worrying about pumping so my daughter has enough milk, I've been organizing baby stuff over and over again. Forgetting meals and showers, I feel like a train wreck emotionally. Physically im in agony between my breasts and my incision that's slow healing. Not sure I'll make to the end if my maternity leave with my sanity intact