I wish if that when I got a positive test I could just be pregnant! That I could be excited and just know that I’m pregnant!

Except I can’t. After three miscarriages I’ve learned very well that getting pregnant doesn’t mean I’m going to stay pregnant.

It means waiting, hoping, holding my breath, obsessing over lines on many, many tests, not celebrating...

I’ve got older kids and when I was pregnant with them, ignorance was bliss. I took a test; I was pregnant, I was having a baby.

I wish it was like that again.