I've been literally the most depressed I have ever been in my whole entire life, this past year. started with my miscarriage 1st day of June 2018. I go to sleep every night just hoping to not wake up because dying would be better than living. and it's not just the miscarriage, that is just the icing on the cake, my relationship seems like its falling apart more and more everyday but in my heart I want nothing more than to stay and try to start a future again. my head knows this is not the right decision. I dont have health care to go see someone to help me and I dont have people to vent to, so I'm hoping some women can send good advice and prayers and love. :( as I'm writing this, still just wish my grandma would tell someone up there I'm ready to go. I miss her and want to see my beautiful babies.