My fiancé left me while I was pregnant in the hospital....UPDATE UPDATE#3

My fiancé and I have been together off and on for seven years. We been together since 2017 two years straight. We’ve lost multiple pregnancies and we’ve been through a lot with our relationship. He is a complete asshole so to say, but I love him. He’s put me through a lot such as when he’s frustrated he would lash out at me because I was the closest to him. But other than that, we were good. We were best friends, we acted silly around each other. He was comfortable with being himself around me and so was I. The sex was always amazing, never ever boring. Just, we loved each other..or so I thought. Long story short...:

I fell pregnant in September 2018. I told him the day after I found out, I planned to wait but when we were having intercourse I started bleeding and he said “babe I think your period if finally here”. He knew I was four days late. And I freaked out. I said well no. That’s not my period. And he said how you figure? And I showed him the test. He said so what happens now? I said well I’ll go to my appointment tomorrow for my ultrasound. I went to the appointment and everything was measuring right on schedule. I was only about 5 weeks and 4 days along. (Something like that) I sent him a photo of the ultrasound and his reply was “ok”. For one month he didn’t talk to me. We argued. He wanted me to abort. He didn’t want the baby. He threatened to leave. He made me miserable for one month. I told him no I want aborting. I went back and forth with him about it. On top of that, I was exhausted and sick and I thought I was literally DYING. At my ten week scan, he saw the picture and it looked like a actual baby. Head, arms, legs everything. Since that day. He did a complete 360 and he was fully on board.

December 2018 Christmas eve my water broke at 7am at only 19 weeks 1 day. I flew to the hospital where I went to labor and delivery to confirm it was my membranes that ruptured. I was given antibiotics and was ordered bedrest. No going to the bathroom or anything i was using a bed pan. My fiancé came to the hospital to visit about seven times. I was there for five weeks before i was moved to the hospital about ten mins away where the NICU is. We were fine. Or so I thought....I moved on a Sunday, that Wednesday morning around 5am he decided he wanted to break things off with me. No explanation whatsoever...I was devastated. Here i was, laying in the hospital with a broke water trying to keep his son alive a little longer and he barely came to see me.

That Friday night, i was rushed to have an emergency c section at only 23 weeks and 5 days gestation. Before my surgery I told my coworker who was visiting me to call my mom and my fiancé . I said call him until he picks up...he finally called me back after they had been trying for a hour to reach him. He said he was on the way. He told me he was at his moms and he fell asleep. But he was dressed as if he was hanging out. He was dressed up and smelling really good. I knew he wasn’t with his mom...he made it to my room right as I got back from recovery. He went to the nurses desk to get his baby band and my coworker showed him to the NICU to see our son. He literally stayed for one minute and came back to my room. He stayed until about 4am and said he is going home and he will take my clothes (he was supposed to had came two weeks prior to get them and wash them but never did) and wash them and come back tomorrow and stay with me the night. I said okay. I asked for a hug and a kiss and he gave me one, put chapstick on my lips and told me to use my pain button relax and try to sleep....

The next day....he never came. He said he wanted to chill today...he never came back. I got discharged that Monday to go home. He was at work when I got home and I immediately cried when I got home. It looked like I never even lived there. I went to the bathroom and saw on top of our trash can a bracelet that they give you when you go to the club to indicate that you’re old enough to drink. He had been partying while I was in the hospital...I cried and cried and I cried for days and days. I didn’t sleep or eat and I was back and forth to the NICU everyday..

A week later, i wanted to talk to him about our relationship. He didn’t want to talk and we got into a little argument and he told me to leave him alone. Next I knew he was putting clothes on and said he was going to his moms. He left, then came back and told me if I don’t open the door he will call the cops. I waddled to the door and opened it back to let him in. He started packing his things and I just sat on our couch and cried and sobbed and told him not to go. He said he didn’t love me and he didn’t want me. After he gathered his last few things he said “take some pain medicine and go to bed” shut the door and locked it. Me and his dog were sitting there just staring at each other...he left me at 3am...

Over the last month he’s been saying he didn’t know if he was coming back home or not. We been back and forth for a month about that and his answer is the same . He said he doesn’t know...but tonight. He said leave him alone and stop bothering him. I said okay bye...I’m hurt and I’ve been hurt ever since. He wasn’t there for me, he hasn’t been back to see our son since the night he was born for the whole minute he was up there. I renewed our lease today and he told me to take his name off. I said well i have my answer. He said well I’m not staying there. However, he’s still paying our furniture payment, he’s paying his half of the bills still including rent but he’s staying at his moms. He’s said hurtful things to me the past month and I just been trying to stay and work this out...but I know i deserve better...I love him more than anything. Anyway this is my birth story also my breakup story ....by the way my nugget was born 1/25/19 at 10:20pm weighing 1lb 1.6oz he’s now 1lb 11oz and is off the ventilator and on full feeds and tolerating his milk very well. He’s so amazing and so strong and I can’t wait to get him home. 💙

UPDATE 1: thank you all for your honesty. Most of your replies were blunt but that’s what I need! I sent him one last text some hours ago and told him I was basically backing off and that I was done. He’s at work overnight so he hasn’t replied yet. He agreed to pay his half of the bills until I return to work in May. So he has paid March bills and will pay April and half of May. I have his dog and I plan to keep him because he doesn’t seem to want him or either he knows he can’t keep him at his moms because he would have to go outside and he’s not an outside dog. Also his two TVs and the furniture I also plan to keep even though he paid for it. He left a few things behind I plan to pack in a box and when he gives me the money for next months bills I’ll give it to him and ask for the keys. I know I deserve better and I honestly hate that I love him so much but I truly know that I’m making myself look dumb and desperate but you can’t help who you love. Hopefully I’ll be okay and the waves of sadness will disappear soon. My two boys are my whole world and my littlest guy is so strong and he’s making me look at life differently. My oldest boy is also very strong he’s been through a lot with this whole process. I’m about to live for me and my kids and he’s missing out. He’s missing all the milestones and he can never get that time he’s missed out on back ...one thing he will do is he will text me and ask how our son is doing...even after I haven’t talked to him and made it clear that I was leaving him alone, he still texts me first and asks about him. And I’m like go see for yourself. You know? Ugh i hate this so much 😔

UPDATE 2: thank you all again for your honesty I greatly appreciate it. But to set the record straight, we are no longer together and he’s no longer living in our home. I’ve seen a few people say to leave him and what not but he already left so we aren’t together. He’s just paying the bills just as he has been when he was there. Love is love, sorry but you really cannot help who you love. I do love him just from a distance. Hopefully one day it’ll fade and he’ll just be another guy in my past (who I’ve had a baby with of course) but one thing he did right was bless me with my baby. But again thank you all.

UPDATE 3: My baby boy is doing amazing! He’s 2lbs 2oz and is doing so good. He’s just hanging out and getting bigger and growing! His dad is living his life carefree and I’m just over it. He’s still helping with his half of the bills and buying the dog his food but i want him to be a father to his son but he just isn’t doing that. He rather live his life and be single and do single things then okay. I told him to leave us alone and I’ve been ignoring his texts...but my boys are doing amazing and we are doing the best we can with what we have . My babies are happy and healthy and that’s all that matters.