I want a baby so bad but..

Hi guys, I know theres others like me out there, and I realize its dumb. But I want a baby with my best friend of 5 yrs/ newly FWB... I'm only 20.. and hes in school.. so like.. I KNOW it's a bad idea. But I cant help that all I want or care about right now is having a baby. I started having symptoms of pregnancy a week ago and honestly I got my hopes up.. only to get my period a few days later. I started crying when it happened. I read baby/pregnancy posts on here all of the time and like I just start crying at how beautiful their stories and their babies are. I've been feeling depressed lately too so maybe a part of me wants a baby because it gives me purpose.. Idk. I'm crazy. And emotional. I dont think my fwb is ready for a baby, of course I'd love for him to be a part of its life but I'd be okay taking care of it on my own too. I think a part of it is that also my best friend and my sister both got pregnant at 19.. so it's almost "normal" to me. I always thought I'd be the first to get pregnant because my love of kids but instead they got pregnant first and I cant help but feel extremely jealous at times 😟 my sister is 23 now and pregnant again. I love her current daughter with all my heart. But I still feel like having a niece and (future) nephew isnt enough to fulfill that part of me. How do I make myself feel better? Or does anyone else feel the same way?