If you would have asked me 3 days ago, those who cheated on their partners with their partner’s best friend had a special place reserved for them in hell; now I know that place exists, and I’m living in it. It all started about a month ago when my best friend told me that, after a couple of drinks and her friends tendency to get way drunk, the guy the aforementioned friend was talking kissed her. She then proceeded to spend the weekend with him, and the next weekend, and the next because she felt an automatic connection with this guy and couldn’t seem to let him go, all the while never letting her friend know that this was occurring.

This last weekend she introduced me to him, and after a couple glasses of scotch on the rocks and my loyalty to my best, I convinced myself that when he told my best friend and the others to he was not flirting with me but just making sure that I would get to the next bar okay. .. and then he kissed me and started trying to get me to invite him back to my apartment. He fed on every single one of my insecurities and used my low self esteem convince me that it was okay to betray my best friend.

I’d like to tell myself that the was his fault. He manipulated me, I was too drunk. NO. I was being selfish, because for the first time ever in our friendship, someone had picked me over her. Told me I was prettier that her, that I was better than her. When

she called me to find out where we were I told her I did not know where he was WHILE I WAS RIDING HIS DICK AND LOOKING HIM STRAIGHT IN THE EYES.

However that selfish feeling was short lived, and waking up still drunk the next morning is when I knew I was in hell. After he left, easily telling me the bullshit lie he was going to tell her so we’d have our stories straight, I knew I needed to tell her. So for an hour, I cleaned house and tried to wash away the debilitating regret Consuming me and finally got up the courage to FaceTime her; only to find him laying next to her in bed. I lied about why I called, and for 9 straight hours I continued to drown in the fact that I hurt my best friend and trying to make excuses that will never exist. I waited to call her at a time when I believed he was gone, and after she hung up I was finally able to breathe again and the only person I wanted to talk to wanted nothing to do with me.