Body hate

I’m hating my body at the moment. I’m far from fat at all.

56kg (123lb)

156cm (about 5 ft 1)

I have a tiny waist but large hips and bum. Been this weight for most my life, but from end of 2017 until this year I got very skinny due to stress..went down to 50kg. I didnt look well. Happier now and am in a new relationship where I seemed to have fattened up a bit but am scared I am going to keep growing. Try so hard to monitor what I eat and its exhausting, I exercise at least 2 times a week (4-6 hours all up)I feel like my stomach is constantly out and bloated. Weighing myself all the time, feel like my thighs are so huge. I feel guilty for eating a piece of cake.

Feel like I’m going insane here, anyone have some words of wisdom for me cause I know I’m stupid and the mind plays tricks..I just feel so poo!