Okay....so I have had a pretty messed up life from start to finish (haven’t we all at some point right?) and have struggled with anxiety and coping with stress.

But honestly the past 2 years my anxiety is so bad.

I had an operation has I had polyps in my gallbladder so I had it out at 20 because of the potential cancer risk for the future...my grandad died the day after my op (who I would confide in often)

My digestive system because of my absent gallbladder is temperamental whenever it feels like it...

Then I found out I have polycystic ovaries...

On top of having family issues...I’m on anti depressants because I’m really struggling...

The one thing I could count on was myself and now my own body is letting me down and there’s nothing I can do to change that...I’m healthy and not overweight.

I know other people have it so so much worse...

I just have my anxiety in my head reminding me of all the crap I would rather forget about.

Now I’m half way across the world for work with my boyfriend and it’s really stressful and he is getting frustrated with me over work stuff and it’s just adding to everything else...

I’ve tried to talk to him but we end up arguing.

For the past two weeks I’ve taken strong painkillers at night just to stop myself from over thinking...I know that it was stupid, I’ve stopped now as I don’t want to do that... its horrid though I just feel like I’m losing control of my life and I don’t know what to do....