My husband and I are pretty upset right now, and I wanted to get your sense of whether we have any right to be.

We’re from New Zealand but live in Europe and we’re expecting our first baby at the end of March. His parents live in New Zealand and have one other grandchild (my BIL’s boy), who they love to death and who they see on a daily basis. His parents are coming for a month-long visit to Europe when our baby is born, which we are excited about.

In August, we are all invited to a wedding in the New York. We will have to travel back to Europe straight after the wedding for our baby to start daycare (it’s a very difficult system and we HAVE to be back by the time daycare starts). We thought we could spend some time with my husband’s parents in the US before the wedding, but they said that they can only arrive one day before, as they don’t want to miss their grandson’s third birthday in New Zealand.

I understand that they want to be there at his birthday, I really do! But they see him almost every day, and they won’t have seen their second grandchild (our baby) for four months. My husband and I are upset that they are prioritizing their grandson’s birthday party over spending time with our baby.

Are we overreacting or would you also raise it with them?