Currently 6w5d and only 16 years old. So far it’s been decent. After telling my mom things got a lot better. Tonight has been horrible, I’ve had some bad nights but this is definitely my worst. It’s 3:20 am right now & im supposed to get up at 9 for a doctors appointment. I’ve been in bed since around 10 crying and watching raw birth videos and videos about postpartum and I feel horrible. I’ve already gained so much weight and I was already super self conscious before pregnancy. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over 2 years and I trust him completely and I know he doesn’t care how I look or change but I just wanna be the best I can be for him and myself. I’m so scared I’m not gonna go back to normal all the way and everything’s just gonna be worse. I know it’s a bit messed up to be upset over things like getting “loose” after something like childbirth because it’s supposed to be this beautiful thing but this wasn’t planned. I do want the baby but I didn’t ask for this (I was on birth control) and the fact that my body is going to be going through all of this at such a young age. Like what if I tear a ton and take forever to heal and never get to heal all the way or what if my stomach gets all flabby forever. Before I got pregnant I was 115 & 5’5 so I was pretty small. I’ve always wanted to gain weight but now that I am it’s alllll in my stomach. And I’m not gonna sit here and pretend it’s all ok Bc it’s for my baby anymore because it’s not. I’m not even an adult yet I should be able to enjoy having a decent body for a few more years at least and I’ve honestly been debating abortion. This is so challenging for me mentally because the fact that I’m basically thinking about choosing my body iver a baby just shows I’m not strong enough to have a baby in the first place. And I know my boyfriend would never cheat or anything but I can’t help but think he’s not gonna be happy with me or attracted to me when I’m all loose and flabby and my boobs are vainy and just ughhhh. This is the first time since I’ve been with him that I’ve felt completely alone. I hate all of this so much. It’s like I know I’m too young for this I know I’m too immature and selfish and insecure but I already have so much love for even the thought of this baby and I know I could never forgive myself if I have an abortion. Thank you so much if you actually read all of this please comment aaanything 😭