Did therapy help your relationship?

Question

My boyfriend and I want to start going to therapy. Been together 4 years. We have poor communication skills Only when we are fighting, and i know it's because of the type of people we are. The type who doesn't want to admit they are wrong, but still wants to fix the situation. Which can't be done if we don't BOTH acknowledge what we did / didn't do. We don't fight often at all, maybe twice a month (besides everyday bickering, we live together so stuff like laundry or dishes, but nothing serious at all) but when we do fight, it ends with us both in tears. We never disrespect or call each other names or say hurtful things, we'll just argue, than when we get too heated we'll just ignore each other. Than when we cool down we just go back to normal and say I love you and go on with the day. But clearly that isn't healthy, Because nothing gets solved, just avoided until next time.
We decided to start going to therapy to hopefully improve how we communicate. We also have our own separate issues to work through as well, personal childhood trauma, anxiety, stress, that stuff. 
But I'm just curious if therapy helped your relationship or not. If not therapy what else helped you?

Answer

It helped me make the decision to file for divorce. I would say that was the best thing that ever happened in my relationship!

Answer

We were offered marriage counseling at our church with our life group (5 couples including us). Although we didnt have any big issues to work out, the counselor brought up some great topics and issues most couples encounter and how to work through and hear eachother. If you both are open to really embracing therapy it'll do wonders. I am totally pro therapy/counseling. Best of luck!

Answer

It won't let me edit my post but I just wanted to add so everyone else could see, my boyfriend and I are both open to therapy. He is actually the one who brought it up and I completely agreed. We are seeing our own individual counselors as well as a couples counselor together. We are looking forward to our first meeting together and our minds are open and ready for change. My first individual meeting is tomorrow

Answer

I think as long as you both WANT to go and want to work on your relationship it helps. You also have to learn to be ok with working on yourself. If you both can deal with working individually and together then it will help! If not then it’s essentially a waste of time. Therapy gets down and dirty with finding out about yourself and as a couple. It helped my husband and I but we were both ready to work on ourselves and on our relationship. Best of luck

Answer

Oh answered before I read. I’m in therapy, but not couples therapy, but I think therapy is something that can never hurt or have a negative impact. However, therapy is something I believe you have to want and agree on, so I think the fact that this is the case with you guys is a good thing.

Answer

If you're ending arguments in tears to static silence, there's no way that y'all arent saying hurtful things or not being emotionally hurtful.. I think therapy is good for couples who actually want to do it... Meaning both parties are in it for the same goal... But you can't drag someone to therapy and expect change.. as we can only change ourselves when we are ready to change. You need to communicate with your partner that you think that therapy may be something y'all need to look into. You could also go to therapy alone and get advice on how you can better yourself which might help your relationship as well.

Did therapy help your relationship?

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