In 2016 I was 22 but living a mess all across the board. I had issues with my relationship/family, financial struggles, university stress, no stable home etc. I had the termination at 5 weeks and they removed a sack. It was one of the worst days of my life because I did not want to do it but it was my only option at the moment and I couldn't let anyone in my familt find out that I was pregnant because they would of made it worse by calling me names like whore and irresponsible, dumb etc. My boyfriend at the time said for me to choose what I think would he best. He didn't pressure me into doing keeping or terminating. He said he'd support me through any route I take, but he didn't have a steady job at the time, and we had relationship issues. Now we are in 2019, and I am 25, 4 weeks pregnant, with a stable job, moved out of my parents in November and got my own place with my husband (eloped). Now I am an emotional wreck because while I am happy and blessed to receive this blessing after 6 months trying, I am thinking about the first baby. They would have been 2 years old today waiting for their baby brother or sister. I am crying as I type this because I will never see my first baby...... and I knew this day will come where I will think about him/her and their little sibling (coming Nov 2019). Idk how to cope