So scared 😭


Ok this might be a long one...

Back in 2017 I had the coil put in as I was 'done' having kids. I have 5, which at the time were 13, 11, twins who were 9 and little one who was only a year old. Apart from complications with my twin pregnancy and 2 very early miscarriages years ago, they were all healthy pregnancies.

I wanted to be sterilised. I am super super maternal, and I know I would have 50 kids if I could afford it 🤣 but the docs wouldn't do it as I had no real "need" for it. 🤬

Anyway, fast forward to September last year and my app is going mad at me cos my period was delayed for 15 days! I thought maybe finally my periods were stopping with the coil as docs had said it could take a year. But thought I'd better do a test anyway just incase... It was POSITIVE!!

So, long story short after being referred to early pregnancy unit and a million scans and blood tests and 2 weeks of hell, I found out that my coil must have fallen out cos they couldn't find it. I had low HCG and there was a sac but no baby 😭 it had stopped developing at 5wks and I eventually miscarried at 8wks 😭

I was devastated 💔 even though we hadn't wanted more children and tried to prevent it, as soon as I knew I was pregnant, we both felt and instant love for the baby we never got to hold 😪

After my miscarriage, I decided I didn't want and more nasty hormones being pumped into my body after already having an allergic reaction to the implant the year before and ending up bleeding heavily for 10 month and ended up in hospital for days having a blood transfusion due to extreme anemia. So I had had enough. I wanted to give my body a rest from it all.

This miscarriage effected me even more than I thought it would, I really wanted that baby, so we decided to try again, I really wanted one last girl, my oldest 2 are girls, my other 3 are boys. The girls are now 15 an 12 so it's been a long time since I've had a baby girl.

Well skip to February and I get my BFP one week before I was due AF!!!! I thought, to get a positive test this early my HCG must be fine, did the CBD weeks indicator test and it said positive 1-2 weeks 😁 over the moon 😁 BUT, I am now supposed to be 5w5d from my last AF (27th Jan) and I am getting pains in my side, but I have had these on and off since my miscarriage last year so trying to be positive. But then I start spotting and now I'm freaking out. Did another test and it still says 1-2 wks 😪 I know these tests can be way off sometimes but I am so scared, went to a&e and had loads of bloods taken, and have an appointment with early pregnancy unit on Sunday morning. I am still bleeding, only lightly, but I have started loosing little clots, only tiny, but I am so scared this is going to be another miscarriage and I just don't understand why this is happening to me 😭💔😭💔😭💔😭💔