*this is just an intro so if u wanna skip to the real part feel free*

I already did one of these but want to make another one because I really am amazed. I started dating this guy little over a year ago, we aren’t boyfriend/girlfriend, but we aren’t not together? If that makes sense. Anyway, it’s a complicated relationship, and trying to explain it to someone who hasn’t been there since it started is difficult.

So no one really likes this, just because it isn’t what they had at my age and he’s not giving me buckets of flowers then it means we’re not actually valid. I don’t think this is true, I think it’s different for everyone. We also go to a different type of school than most people, so the dating/school pda thing is a life difficult

*REAL STORY*

This boy may not bring huge flowers on valentine’s day, but the things that he does for me are so much better.

I have struggled with slight depression and anxiety for a while, anxiety my whole life, depression more so in the last few years. However over this past year both of those things have gotten worse. No one really knows about all of this besides him. Although recently I’ve been opening up a little more but it makes me feel pathetic (not saying it is. But for me personally)

So the other day I had a panic attack in the middle of class, which is something I never ever do. When I have these panic attacks it makes it 20 times easier to trigger another one, if that makes any sense. So he came over yesterday, and he was supposed to go somewhere at 12:30. I’d kind of been on the verge of one all day. My anxiety was super high, I could feel it in my chest. He actually took my backpack for me when we were walking (not a huge thing but I think it’s so cute)

We hung out for a while and i ended up randomly having a panic attack. (A lot of times they’re to the point where I can’t remember where I am) and he was so calm, and so sweet. He laid me on the bed and sat next to me, and held my face in his hands, kept telling me to squeeze his arm as hard as I could. And he spoke to me, I couldn’t really respond, but it was comforting to hear his voice. It lets me know I’m safe. After I’d calmed down a little he showed me this thing you can do with your hands so you begin to focus on something else, and then he laid down and held me. We talked for a while, and he was supposed to go, but he told me he could be late. And he kept kissing my head and hugging me, which is something we don’t do a whole lot? It’s not like we don’t ever do it, but you know. And when he had to leave I was helping him get his things and he was so gentle. He hugged me again, and told me to call him the next time it happened. And when I walked him to the elevator we talked about small things, and he held my arm, told me he didn’t want to leave.

Now, obviously I didn’t intentionally do this. Please don’t think that. I didn’t want him to leave, but I would never ever purposely try and make him stay, if that makes sense.

But having someone like that in my life, is honestly one of the greatest gifts I think I could ever ask for. I’m so eternally grateful for him, and I’m amazed by the amount of kindness and love he’s shown me. I wouldn’t ask for anything else in this world.

That boy is such a beautiful human being, inside and out, and I love him with all my heart. Truly.

I’m sorry this was so long, but I needed to share. (: