No, not during sex. That’d be an instant out for me. But during a conversation, not a fight but I was hurt by something and he was trying to get me to come inside, and he said ‘come on’ and said his ex wife’s name. I’m so hurt and not sure what to do. Part of me feels like it isn’t a big deal and I’m overreacting but the other side of me is thinking it is and should be a big deal and I’m reacting appropriately. He swears he doesn’t think of her and I’m the only one on his mind and he has been over her for a long time (she cheated on him so he divorced her), but it’s hard to accept that as truth when he clearly called me by her name. Can anyone help me come to terms or accept his words as truth? Or is it a big deal and a red flag? I come from a home with zero good relationship examples so it’s hard for me to know what is right and healthy and what I need to walk away from.

They had been married for around 4-5 years I’m guessing and divorced between 6-8 years now. They have 1 son, 12yrs ol, but do not have much interactions with each other except bare minimum (according to what he told me)

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Thank you all for your replies and helpful insights. I feel better and more confident to let this go and keep trying with this relationship.