I’ve been section leader for my wind ensemble for a year now. I am an undergrad for a university. I am a senior. This last semester, a new girl (let’s name her P) was marked section leader (also) by mistake and now I’m in duel leadership with her. She is a junior. Which is fine.

What’s not fine is that she’s very rude. She tries to take the whole job away from me, and doesn’t do it properly. When I proactively get something done, she gets upset and does things out of spite. It’s really hurtful.

For example in January I put tabs on top of the music (which are very much removable). P’s comment was “aww these tabs are so organized and they make me happy.” In front of the others.

Today, she rips off the tabs of the new music we just got today. She crumbles it and says “ugh. I really hate these.” I asked her “why do you hate these all of a sudden?” She said “I hate cute things and I think it’s unprofessional.”

I don’t really mind her taking off the tabs. I wish she would of executed it much more respectively since we are co leaders.

I can’t talk to anyone about it. My teachers quite literally favor her. There has been a huge difference between the behavior from before she was here and when she came here from the second half of the semester. She didn’t even audition for this group and was automatically bowed as section leader.

Everyone I talk to says “you’re gonna have to deal with P. You both have strengths and weaknesses. Plus she’s such a sweet and amazing girl. Obviously she’d understand if you talk it out.” I 100% get that. I don’t know how to deal with someone who won’t work with me even when I’m honestly making an initiate to work together. She rather work her way and by herself. I’m trying to work together. I don’t see how she’s sweet and amazing, but since so many people are saying it- it must be true. So I’m not doubting it.

I’m feeling uncertain about myself, and whether I should just step down. I’m a weak person. She is a very strong and pushy person. Shes not organized and has put the section in uncomfortable positions when I tried to step back and let her handle it. Yet it bothers me that I can’t seem to work together with her.

Any advice would help. Sorry for the rant.