warning ⚠️ this post might be a little long. I’m posting it here because i’m pregnant but if i get comments saying try a different group I will.

So here’s a little background about him. My boyfriend mom died when he was a teenager. He has no family, Just a sister that lives 8/ 9 hours away. He Just turn 24 a few days. Since I met him it’s seem as if his life has been going down hill. He was involved with selling drugs and “living in the streets” as he calls it but doesn’t really give me any background information to work with. so I can help him. I’m not sure what’s wrong with him because forgive me ignorance on mental health issues ( we are from the island and to be honest mental health issues aren’t something taken seriously as seriously in the african american community) but from my understanding he is depressed, his mom’s death still bothers him, he may have an anxiety issues and maybe slightly bipolar. My reasons for this is because

- he always get headaches , really really bad headaches

- I witnessed him drown his self in music ( think god he has some control & it’s not drugs or alcohol) but he would already have migrants but will play music to the loudest it would go for him to stop thinking as he puts it

- he sometimes doesn’t sleep or will sleep too much. I once seen him find we were find laying down watching netflix as it got late I started to fall asleep but he had his head phones playing music so loud it woke me up out of my sleep & he was shaking his leg so hard the bed was rocking ( me and him both are leg shakers, i do it randomly or to sleep but he does it when something is bothering him) so i woke up and it was 1 am i told him to turn off the lights and i went back to sleep. I woke up again at 3 am, he’s still up and started to clean up my room and i’m like what’s wrong? he says nothing so i go back to sleep. at 4 am i roll over to hold in my sleep and i grabbed his feet. he switch his head to the lower end of the bed and i’m just like um what are you doing come back. 4 am turns to 6 am and he’s still up blasting music

- his emotions are really inconsistent one minute his happy and excited for the baby and the next it’s im not anything to him and i’ll never be anything to him

- i believed his mom death still bothers him because he says it’s something in him that’s holding him but he’s not sure

- he’s depressed and stressed about his living situation

when i first met him, i admit he had his issues but it was never this bad. As i stated earlier his mom died so he basically raised himself and that means living house to house. When we met he had a job and was living with one of his mom old friends. He lost his job and shortly after that the friend told him that he has to go because she’s moving. He went down hill from there. He went from opening doors for me, calling me, facetime all day everyday. Making sure i’m doing all of my assignments in college to being a total ass. I asked him to move in with me and find a job and once he ready to leave he can but he refused.

A month later I found out I was pregnant and he told me to get an abortion after like a month. I refused. We talked about having kids in the future but it wasn’t anything we planned. I talked to him about my beliefs on abortion and told him i wasn’t on any kind of birth control. I admit I should have did more to prevented my pregnancy but I didn’t. We had a pregnancy scare before and he was upset that i wasn’t pregnant. Fast forward to me being pregnant for real & he stops calling, he stops wanting to come over and spend time with me, he uninterested at appointment. He’s really shitty to me. Tell me to punch myself in the stomach, i should’ve got the abortion, he doesn’t want anything to do with me. I should just go on with my life and i’m nothing to him so i should just stop trying to help him.

His energy and his problems has taken a huge toll on me and my pregnancy. my family is starting to see that and therefore hate him. I understand where they are coming from and i think it’s time for me to take their advice and leave him alone but they don’t really know his past and why he is the way he is so i try to be there for him. He always talked about feeling alone and never having anyone but it’s like he don’t even acknowledge me. when i tell him hey look at all i did for you, you can see that i care and i’m here .. it’s always “i didn’t ask you to. I don’t need anyone”. He told me he’s going to go back to what he was doing before he met me “fucking girls & leaving, no emotions attached”. he said i’m not anything to him so i should just go.

it’s gotten to the point that he feels in the toxic one to him

so here’s my questions, feel free to add your own input.

- does this sound like a person that’s making excuses or have something deeply wrong with them?

- how can i get him to go see someone to help him get through w.e deep issues he got going on. ( how to approach him . i never know what to say)

- should i listen to my family and forget him and his problems?

- how can i get him to understand where i’m coming from without him feeling like i’m bragging about helping him or bring him down?

- how can i bring up that he’s making me not wanting to allow him to be apart of our child’s life