I want it to be me.

I sit here at the nurse’s station, after bringing my patient over to the postpartum floor, after assisting with the delivery of her first baby girl. She had the most perfect delivery, and out came the most perfect baby. They thank me for my work.

“You were great, thank you so much for everything.”

“My pleasure. She’s beautiful. Enjoy her. Congratulations.”

As a labor and delivery nurse, it just makes me want it so much more. Through all the bleeding, pooping and placentas and occasional emergent situations, I wish to be the patient in that delivery room with my husband by my side. I look at the empty room, with fetal monitoring straps set up, waiting for that patient in labor, the patient with their water broken, the patient about to be induced, the patient with a scheduled c-section.

One day I will be that patient walking in about to meet my precious baby. One day.