Me and him have worked together for over a year, but after getting to know each other and having some really amazing conversations, it became obvious to us we had feelings for each other. We have now been officially dating two months.

It took some getting used to, and to be honest it still takes some adjusting. I want to be cautious, I want to be level headed, and I think I am. But I have been in a bad relationships, I have read about bad relationships, my mother dated men and had almost exclusively bad relationships, and I have to say, nothing strikes me as a major red flag, besides his age.

However, he had a troublesome life leading up to our meeting. He moved away from his family, because his parents were pretty shitty, and he’s moved two states in his 20’s. He used to be a lot roudier, a lot more immature, and he used to make more mistakes. He did some drugs, nothing like heroin but dabbled in the world of stimulants, which was actually why he left his last town, he knew that if he stayed he wouldn’t stop doing the drugs. So he lives now in my town, works at my job. He’s very considerate of people, and he feels deep, thus his disconnection from semi-neglectful parents.

I trust him. I really do, I so do. I’ll be 18 in less than a month and his birthday isn’t for another 6 months. I’ll be out of school very soon.

I actually have had 3 other men from work, in their 20’s try to go out with me, and their logic is that I act older than my age, something I’ve been told my whole life. What strikes me different about my now boyfriend is that he didn’t pursue me. He spoke to me, let me know he enjoyed my company, but he wasn’t pushy, he was respectful the whole time, and if I had told him no I know for a fact he would have left me alone. I say that with no doubt in my mind and I cannot reiterate that enough. He isn’t using me, in fact he’s taught me ways to deal with my mental health issues so that I can handle them by myself; so I do not become reliant on him or anyone else.

He also urged me from the start to be open with my family about us, he never wanted me to keep it a secret. But he said that I knew my family best and would tell them how and when I deemed best. He is not afraid to come to my house, and be around my family. When I get upset with my family, he consoles me, but also tries to keep me level headed, and sometimes explains why hey might act a certain way.

I just wanted to say all this. I’ve received lots of backlash. I understand why. I’m hoping maybe for some encouragement? I don’t see red flags, besides general age and how nice he is. He’s not overly nice, he’s just healthy nice. Should I be wary of that or should I loosen up some more? I feel like I’m just searching for things to be judgmental about, like I’m searching for a reason to leave, a reason he might be bad.