Another Baby ?! Guilt 😩

I’m typing this with a very heavy heart & hope to get some good feedback .

For some background knowledge , my man and I have been together for 5 going on 6 years . I absolutely love him with all of my heart & We have a beautiful 9 month old baby girl , Mila .

I’m currently a sahm & we’re staying with my parents who have plenty of extra room for us while I finish school online and while we’re saving up some money to get our own place . It’s a lot easier now since my man has just got a new , better paying job . 🤗 So happy for him .

But ....

I just feel like I want another baby ! 😩❤️ I’ve voiced this to my boyfriend who says “let’s wait” some days and “just let me know when babe” on others .

I had 3 miscarriages before my Mila was born , which sent me into a very depressing opiate addiction . I got clean during my pregnancy with my daughter but the entire pregnancy I was treated different by doctors and family . Nobody was really happy for me 💔 And while I completely understand their concerns , it was one of the worst feelings to be over the moon in love with this baby I was carrying and feel negativity around you constantly. Even during delivery , I didn’t get to experience the happiness most mother’s do because I was terrified cps would take custody of my baby . (Didn’t happen btw) see my last post*

Now that Mila gets older and we’re on getting on our feet , my heart just wants to add another member to the family ! I imagine giving mila a sibling that is close in age , a happy pregnancy and delivery , and a full family and heart .

I guess I’m just torn on making a decision or even mentioning that I’m like super serious to my partner .

Advice ? Questions ? Comments ?