I told myself I wouldn’t get all worked up and anxious this time around. Our last TTC journey was long and filled with doctors, doubt and questions. I am wanting to avoid those feelings this time around, but that being said. Here I am peeing on so many sticks and wondering what my body is up to.

I have very little information on my cycle. I have no been using OPKs as I was trying to not get overly invested-it’s not working.

First postpartum period Jan 4th. Lasted 9 days. Second postpartum period started at a full flow on Feb 11th after spotting for 5 days and ended Feb 20th with a light spotting for 2 more days.

Previously, before birth control I had a 30 day cycle like clockwork. Started BC and had no period for the time I was on it, but spotted and bled clots daily. After ending it I would go between 90-210 days between periods. Now, I don’t know what to expect from my cycle.

I took a test a week ago, negative. I was so anxious I was getting queasy. Again, I started getting queasy, so I took a test 20 minutes ago, negative. I assuming it’s just nerves.

I’ve also taken OPKs today and yesterday, negative.

I guess with all my rambling, I’m hoping someone has insight or advice on what to expect, when to test, and help me get off my crazy train of TTC.

Also, I want to just put out there that it may seem selfish to be asking for advice on TTC while still breastfeeding while so many are still on the very hard path to their first. I hope and pray that everyone has their rainbow baby and that they continue in the right path for their family as time progresses. Not trying feels wrong to us after trying for so long. Please, be kind in your words. I mean no harm or heart ache.