Hey everyone,

My mom is dying of cancer at 43. She has days left at best. My stepmom and Dad came with me to the hospital to visit her last night.

My mom was abusive to me as a child. I’m married and have a 13 month old and a second baby on the way. My stepmom was talking to me on the way back from the hospital in front of my dad and brother and said I should get counselling and “break the cycle” because after she dies I may notice I do things that she did because it’s just learned behaviour and it’s not that I necessarily do it intentionally.

I was a bit offended by that. I get what she’s saying but I’m not like my mom. I don’t yell at my son, I don’t neglect him, and I don’t hit him. I would never do any of those things. I feel she’s being very judgmental of me. I don’t know if it’s jealousy because she couldn’t have kids, but I’m really upset she said that. I’m getting counselling and she knows.

My dad just listened and didn’t say anything the whole time.

Any advice or suggestions? It makes me not want to see her anymore. We’ve never been close and it’s due to things like that. I should mention she said all this after I just gave her a card and present for her birthday. We celebrated it that day.