Anxiety and depression

I've been living in with my bf for almost a year.

He had me at my darkest times. I usually get anxiety attack, panic attack, depression most especially during night times. It comes with hyperventilation sometimes and overdosing CNS depressant & sleeping aids. ( my bf really hated it when I overdose pills & when I cut. He already talked to my family about my depression. And he always tell them to keep an eye on me when he isn't around)

My bf was so kind and he took care of me everyday and every night. That's when my depression started to fade.

But then, for some reason, we just have to be apart for almost 2-3 months.

It's been already a month without him by my side and my depression came back to me so dramatically. No one is there to hold me when I am having a depression like before. I know it's only for 2-3months, but it's a long long way for me. And I don't know how to deal with my depression anymore. I could suddenly cry during our lecture at university, and sometimes I just don't go to school anymore. I don't know how to deal with this anymore, so if anyone can suggest me what to do for another month, please!! I just wanna escape from what I'm feeling rn. My bf were my happy pill and I know have become dependent on him. So I just want to be okay again even without him.