He can't turn me on.

Why can't my boyfriend turn me on? He used to turn me on so much! Since becoming more sexually active, I feel like I'm less and less attracted to him. He's never made me cum or really pleasured me during sex. I'm into kinky stuff and he's way more vanilla. He says he wants to turn me on but doesn't seem to really be trying beyond saying "I want to turn you on too!" Sometimes I think maybe he doesn't turn me on anymore because I know that when we have sex, I won't get any pleasure from it so maybe I'm just psyching myself out. I'm so horny and I'm getting progressively more frustrated with him. Sex feels like a chore, it hurts me and is all about making him cum. I don't know what to do. I love him but it's so frustrating, I want pleasure sometimes too. But I know it's not all his fault! I'm in my own head a lot during sex and I'm not super experienced. What should I do? I fantasize about other guys so much and I feel so guilty. But I love him and don't want to lose him.