Having anxiety already😕😩

So obviously its safer for babies to sleep in a crib or bassinet but I'm having anxiety about NOT having my child right under me. I have a 12 year old and although he had a bassinet he rarely slept in it. He was always right there next to me or I was holding him. I was that way with my 12 year old because he was in the NICU for 40 days and had to come home on a breathing monitor. To this day I still check on him while he is sleeping and he will be 13 next month and, THANK GOD, he is perfectly healthy. In rolls my anxiety..my mom is so set on buying my baby boy I'm pregnant with now a crib. Everyday she wants to go look for one..I'm having big time anxiety thinking about the fact that he won't be right under me..because that's what I'm used to. I know it's best for baby but I'm having a hard time with this. It's so sad of me