Feeling disconnected

I wanted to get feedback from anyone who has gone through something similar. I miscarried twins early last October.. it was my first (and hopefully only) miscarriage and it devastated me for months. I was very connected to those babies as i thought for sure that was the end of my infertility journey and that that was it and i would finally have my miracle babies....I suffered from severe anxiety and depression for about a solid 2 months before i began to heal.... my second FET resulted in a positive and i'm so grateful to God for this pregnancy i'm 7w3d today and beyond grateful for this baby. We saw the heartbeat last week and the baby is growing perfectly so far and hormones all look great... yet a part of me feels so disconnected from this baby and not like how i was with my October pregnancy... idk if its because I'm unintentionally guarding myself... a part of me is still in denial... like it hasn't hit me yet... i love this baby and again i'm so grateful for this opportunity but I don't feel as connected as I want to be... can anyone else relate or gone through something similar or am I just weird? How can I get over this feeling?