Wish SO was more interested

I am not pleased with the fact that my husband never even asks any appointment I have.

-Since getting pregnant, I got a gyn, and go to appointments alone

- had to find a midwife, made the many calls and finally got one who was free to have me and did the paperwork with her alone.

-got us registered in hospital for an introduction appointment that I will probably visit alone,

-Gone to informative seminars at different hospitals alone just to find out which hospital to choose and mind you, I was the only one without a partner and it made me feel horrible and insecure like I had to explain myself why am pregnant with no man! I told him how I felt n he said he also gets such looks when he meets people he knows and I told him it ain't the same. I also meet people without him but this is a prenatal class!

- had my organ screening in hospital alone

I still have to find a doctor for the child before they r born

- Have to take classes. Which I keep asking him when he can be available so I don't have to go alone but he gives no answer and am running out of time to book! If I just book, I might have to go there alone!

- also if I am to go back to work I should find a child care facilities and am told they are so full, to get a 2 year old in, I need to get a vacancy during pregnancy.

- Have so much paperwork to fill in. Which I already went to various offices to get the details and the documents on my own and I have to fill them in alone.

I don't get any suggestion to get help and when I wait on him, I always almost miss the deadlines so I end up doing it myself. And I have been doing this with pelvic pains. Some weeks I have an appointment to run baby errands each day besides work n school. Other days I work till 8pm because we have so much to do at work. I push on because I want the best for my child.

He asks if am fine after work but the moment I say fine, he will quickly go to tell me everything about his day, friends, and all he experienced, I love the communication but I feel like he does not really ask if am fine to find out how I really am.

Some might think I don't talk to him but I have from the beginning. I asked him to at least start thinking of a name. He said it ain't that important. Maybe it is a good thing because I can choose the name I want.

Also I do all the shopping for baby stuff. And yes, I don't have much because I haven't the energy to carry bulky stuff or do long shopping trips. Good thing is I can buy what I want but still I miss his involvement. He gave me his credit card, I can use to shop but doesn't let me check how much is on it which is quit hard for me because I keep worrying I might over use it and get us in debt so I just use my card.

Other times when I try to tell him how I really feel. To tell him am actually in pain and I need more involvement, he told me am over exaggerating and I got mad. N went ahead to tell me how am a bad wife. Later when I told him how it made me feel, he denied having said am a bad wife but am acting like a bad wife. Honestly I feel like am doing all this alone and having him around just adds quarreling to the whole arrangement. So I would be better off alone doing what am already doing alone with no one to fight me n make me feel bad. And yet, I don't think it is reason enough to move on. Worst part is people tell me how I have a husband to support me and I have to smile n cover for him.

Others look at me like I have a fake husband which also feels horrible.

I now have an upcoming diabetes test and I honestly want to go to it n not tell him anything about it. He won't even remember I had it. I have always updated him on everything just to make him feel like he is part of this so he feels involved but now am starting to give up. Like I don't mind getting into labor and getting to hospital without bothering to call him n tell him if he isn't around. It is that bad. I almost fear he won't be supportive even in labour and wonder if I should consider having someone else around instead. Or going alone. Because I can imagine being in labour and he starts a fight with me. Or he does everything wrong yet he had time to prepare and refused to. Or that I have to prepare for him n add to my responsibilities instead of him helping me. I really have lost trust in whether I can trust him to relay on him.

Before I had kids I always was determined to never let kids get in the way of my husband and I or to become more important than us or have myself ignore him for the kids but I find it hard not loving my baby more the way he is treating and neglecting me. I really find consolation in my baby's kicks and reactions to me and I already see myself feeling like I don't need him around anymore.

And then, there are husband's out there doing such a great job being excited about their kids. I wonder what I did wrong to deserve being alone.