don't wanna test

my period has been late for 3 months and I just assume it was me messing around with birth control on and off that triggerd the delay, then I started thinking it was because of my hyperthyroidism that cause it's delay. For whatever reason, I'm too scared to take a hpt. As soon as I take that test and its positive I have to get ready for yet another miscarriage. I would be about 12 weeks. I gave birth to a stillborn at 18 weeks. And if I'm pregnant my due date would be days after I lost my stillborn. I'm stressed out any of course I would love to be pregnant but yet I can't take another lost! This will be my 4th pregnancy