Ladies. I really don’t know what to do about work and staying home. Venting. Long post.

My employer keeps asking me to go look at daycares and churches. My husband and I have also agreed we couldn’t see putting our children in childcare. (Yes I know not everyone agrees)

We have an almost 2 yr old and expecting at the end of May. Currently my sister keeps my daughter but plans on returning to work after I have my second.

Family keeping our girls isn’t an option. My hubby tells me to do whatever will make me happy.

But just don’t know. I want to be home with the girls but I’m scared financially and mentally because I know it’ll be exhausting. Idk that I want to do just drop the girls off with people I don’t know and trust them.

I don’t know that I want to come back to my office job. My boss keeps saying it’ll be worth it but won’t give me a number on what I’d make. Currently for what it would cost in daycare and what I bring home, I’d make less than $100 per week. Hence why we talked about me not coming back.

First my boss asked to come back twice a week now he’s saying three times. So I’m worried if I come back, eventually they will push me to come back more than 3, I won’t get raise like I feel like I deserve(I’ve been employed there for almost 5 years and never received a raise), and I’ll be stressed because all my work will be left for me to do in 3 days instead of 5 says. I’ve asked him about what I’d make and he keeps saying he’ll give me figures but hasn’t. I told him I don’t want to be stressed shortening my days I work and he says that he’ll only see clients on the days I’m not here. I told him I don’t want to be rushed back and he says he’s willing to wait 1-2 extra than the normal 6 weeks.

I really just don’t know what to do.

I’m scared of the stay at home mom depression and isolation that it comes with. I have family around and in my area but I’ve heard of the SAHM depression and it worries me.